Tip 1

Activate Perspective

Place life’s inconveniences (everyday events) in a large life perspective. Whatever “it” is tell yourself, “I will get through this. I have always survived every life challenge.”


  1. Place life’s “inconveniences” in perspective. Perspective is one of the most potent ways to reduce stress and relax. Stress is often caused by an exaggerated negative view of oneself or the world. Perspective shifts that negative view.

Tip 2

Get in touch with what you “Want!!”

Ask yourself “What do I want? How can I not only care take others but also care take me.” Accept that you may not get what you want but the clearer you are about what you want the easier it is to achieve.


  1. We relax more when we are clear about what we want. Often, we think we want one thing when in reality we are conflicted and want something else. Getting clarity on what you want increases your psychological antibodies. Without these antibodies you will become depleted and then no longer effective for those you are taking care of.

Tip 3

Reduce Your Shoulding and Musterbating

Without ever having to change your behavior, replace your shoulds, musts, have to’s and oughts with wants, preferences, wishes, and desires. While you may not like some activity (e.g. your job) if you practice replacing shoulds with wants you will reduce your resentment and guilt in life. You might say “I want… or I prefer…” instead of “I must… I should… I have to…”


  1. Thinking in “demands” (shoulds, musts, ought to’s) is one of the core creators of stress. Change your thinking from this depowering/demand thinking to empowering/want thinking and you automatically become more relaxed.

Tip 4

Embrace Gratitude

Everyday focus on 3 things for which you are grateful. You can say them to yourself write them down (perhaps in a journal) or represent them symbolically perhaps with buttons, marbles, paperclips, etc.


  1. Research has consistently found that when we are grateful our stress level is reduced.